Friday, December 9, 2011

Debate Christmas Carols

"One of the greatest joys known to man is to take a flight into ignorance in search of knowledge." - Robert Lynd

"Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence." - Henrik Tikannen

Somehow managed to win first place in my event at the debate tournament today. It helps that 3/4 of my opponents had never debated before, but hey.

That's not terribly important, though. The thing that actually matters is that we spent  a couple of hours before rounds started writing alternative versions to Christmas carols on the tables (which were graciously covered with paper specifically for that purpose). Later we ripped the sections off and placed them into our smuggling tubs (which are mainly used for food): The Millenium Falcon, and Serenity.

No, they're not supposed to have the right number of syllables or necessarily rhyme. If you are amused, that is wonderful. If not, just ignore this.

"Oh Holey Logic," written and then sung by me and Josh Williams (for the probably two of you that means something to).

Oh, hole-y logic
Your fallacies are blinding
They make my brain
Hurt as if it's being hit by rocks
The joys of pain- 
Your case just simply crumbles
It falls on the ground
In a heap of useless nonsense
Oh logic
So flawed!
In the round that I just won.

"Hark Harold the Union Worker Sings" (in reference to the debate topic "current economic disparities threaten democratic ideals") Written by me, very late last night. The sad thing is, I went to bed at midnight and got up before 6 and there were tons of people there who had gotten way less sleep than I did.

"Hark!" Harold the Union Worker sings
"I'd like more collective bargaining!
Peace on the floor, and hours mild
Wages to feed my newborn child"
Angered, all ye workers rise
Join the protest to get the prize
When the CEO proclaims
"Perhaps we can agree on something"
"Hark!" Harold the Union Worker sings
"That's what I call collective bargaining!"

Then, in reference to the topic that I was actually debating ("individuals have a moral obligation to assist people in need,"), there is "Grandma Got Run Over By A Bus (and I don't have a moral obligation to help her)" Written by my other friend.

Grandma got run over by a bus
Jogging home from our house Christmas Eve
You may say I have a moral obligation to help her
But as for me and Grandpa, in Con we believe.

"God Rest Ye Merry Bourgeoise" Kind of a conglomerate of authorship. 

God rest ye merry bourgeoise
Let nothing you dismay
Democracy was founded to rich, make you stay
To save you all from poverty when the money goes away
Oh, tidings of tax cuts and joy
Tax cuts and joy!
Oh, tidings of tax cuts and joy!

There were a few more, but those are the best and most complete.

I'll probably write up a few more anecdotes about the actual tournament tomorrow, but these are for either your enjoyment or "god, she's insane"-ment for now. :)

1 comment:

  1. These are fricking brilliant. I love them. And I could sing them in my head to the song they were based on...


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