Sunday, January 1, 2012

Important Things To Know

"The only normal people are the one's you don't know very well." - Alfred Alder

First: English country dancing turns out to be "Jane Austen movie dancing," according to people who have actually seen Jane Austen movies, and "the kind they were supposed to be doing in A Knight's Tale before the 80s took over," according to me. It was weird and fun and I had a good time. The square dancing lessons in 2nd grade turned out to be marginally useful after all.

But now I want to tell you about the book my best friend showed me last night (a gift from our other friend for her amusement). It's a book of FAQs from Christian teenagers, and their answers.

Things I Learned From This Book:

  • God cares whether or not you're popular at school (I'm not sure if this means homeschoolers are just screwed, or if they get to be archangels)
  • STDs do not exist if you are married (poof!)
  • Flirting is EVIL because it takes your mind off of Jesus. (Like Jesus cares if you're thinking about him 24/7. Personally I'd find that rather creepy, but maybe that's just me.)
  • Sarcasm is a sin (and I'm definitely not going to hell)
  • Pregnancy is not caused by sex. "It's a symptom of the sin of premarital sex." (So I guess I still don't know how babies are made within wedlock.)
  • Not only are you not allowed to date non-Christians, but you're also not allowed to date someone if they're not really, really Christian. If they just go to church and believe everything laid out in the Apostle's Creed? Not good enough.
  • Public schools encourage everyone to be gay. (They use state funding to set up kissing booths and everything. Did you guys not know this?)

And those are just the ones I remember. You know, sometimes the world worries me.

1 comment:

  1. I think all of them are pretty messed up, except bullet points 3-5.

    Bullet Point 5: I think this is ok, because it still is linking sex to pregnancy, so the teenager has a basic understanding of the process. The sex causes the sin, the sin causes the pregnancy, just inserts a middle man... Condoms, of course, help people keep the sin off of them, and babies are possible within wedlock because most people have sex out of wedlock, so their symptoms just take a while to catch up with them. Those people who abstain until marriage probably turn out to be infertile. So, I guess I'm not ok with this bullet point after all, because it is promoting pre-marital sex.

    Bullet Point 4: This point is totally obvious.

    Bullet Point 3: Solution, flirting WITH Jesus!


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