"Right and wrong is just a matter of perception. The only way you can be wrong is if you believe you're wrong. Or if I say so." - Lord Voldemort's Twitter feed
Also, the funniest "your mom" joke I've heard in a long time, courtesy of one of the people I eat lunch with: "Your mom's so fat that her patronus is a cake." (Did you guys know that in Latin, "expecto patronum" means "I await my godfather"? Talk about subtle foreshadowing. **worships J.K. Rowling**)
Also Also Also (and this is being added several days after I started adding quotes to this, so I'm sorry it is similar to the Voldemort one): "I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong." - Craig Benzine. I want that on a T-shirt. And I want my mom (specifically her) to buy me said T-shirt, because she (and I) would think it funny for her to buy it for me.