Sunday, April 24, 2011

Slightly After 10 This Morning, I Rose. Alleluia.

"In poker, if people believe you have a good hand, then you have a good hand. In poker as in politics, perception of reality, is reality. That certainly makes conversations around authenticity a bit more multi-layered and complex." - Andrew Slack

Jeez, I should title posts with Doctor Who quotes more often-- I got almost a hundred views just from Google searches on that last one. Ha.

All right, so if you're a Christian who is likely to be offended by people behaving improperly during church, stay away from this post. Otherwise, read on.

Going to church with my dad is always fun in the sense that he whispers witty comments to me throughout the entire service. He has a large number of such comments on Easter.

For those of you who don't celebrate Easter as a religious holiday, perhaps you aren't aware that throughout the month or so leading up to Easter (Lent), the word "Alleluia" is not allowed to be spoken (which of course ensures that we do, because we're blasphemous children of Satan and all that).

On Easter, the word's taboo status is revoked. Also on Easter, our church prints every single hymn and piece of liturgy in the bulletins that are passed out at the beginning, because taking up all that extra paper is worth making sure people don't have to flip to the right page in the brand new liturgy/hymnal books.
So at the beginning of the service this morning, I counted how many times we were going to be saying "Alleluia." 

The total? 63.

My dad, of course, thought it would be amusing to only say/sing "Alleluia" when he wasn't whispering to me. Mid-hymn he had the brilliant (and offensive, and annoying, and hilarious) idea to sing them in a ridiculously bad falsetto (this began during the stanza marked "women only." He didn't want to miss out.)
I asked him "You do know you're not in a Monty Python movie, right?"

Among other things, it was also determined that everyone in the church was decidedly Team Edward-- they seemed pretty keen on drinking blood.

His Facebook status this morning was: "Alleluia! Another day I have risen. Now that I'm getting older I've learned to appreciate each new day and the ability to get out of bed every morning. Each new day is a gift. That's why we call it 'the present.'"

When we got to church and picked up said bulletins, we saw that the covers read "Our Redeemer lives." My dad immediately said "Cool, they've already seen my status."

I'm sure you're all wondering what my mom thinks of this-- perhaps I shall write a not-all-that-personally-detailed post regarding her views tomorrow.

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