Motivational Thoughts From The Ghost of Pre-Calc Past

"You should find something you love to do, and then figure out a way to get someone to pay you to do it. That's the recipe for happiness in life." - Brandon Sanderson

I was cleaning my room today and found a piece of paper I haven't looked at since around this time last year--a list of questions my pre-calc teacher wrote on the board toward the end of the semester for our contemplation.

1. Are you aware that your actions impact others?
2. Are there people in this world you appreciate? Do they know it?
3. Are you succeeding to your fullest potential?
4. Are you willing to step out of your comfort zones?
5. Are you seeing the change you want in your life? If not, what are you doing about it?
6. Does character count?

And I am pleased to say that I can answer "yes" to these more truthfully than I could when I first copied them down. Particularly numbers 2, 4, and 5, although in 2 there's still some notable things I need to work on.

This makes me happy.

Why Am I Smiling?

"To craft a good story, take the best of two extremes--fantasy and believability--and find a way to merge them." - DisneyPixar's Twitter feed


Why am I smiling? It's because I know something you don't (or rather probably do) know. I am not left-handed. (Add points if you got the reference just from the title of yesterday's post. Subtract if you still have no idea what I'm talking about.)


Thanks to certain members of my school's debate club for the premise. Yes, those are the sorts of discussions that crop up after the meeting is technically over.


Honestly, right now I'm just stringing myself along until school is over (10 more school days until exams. Only 10 more days, and then three tests, and then I shall be free. 10days10days10days...)


The weird thing about school is that I tend to love it, both as a concept and as a real thing. I love learning, and I love spending time with all of the people I don't typically see over the summer, and I have a fondness for the institution itself that is probably just leftover from kindergarten when it was all new and amazing. I'm well aware that there are many things wrong with the education system, but still. The idea of an education system makes me happy. Or something. I don't know.


But then it gets to be May...and I'm just done with it. Partially because I'm more than ready to be off for the summer, and partially because I've been using it as an excuse to not write. And while it's just a hobby that I take very seriously for now, I've been slacking and not meeting the goals I've set for myself. (I actually just mooched a picture from EffYeahNerdfighters to use as my summer desktop wallpaper; it features a frowning John Green with the caption "WHY AREN'T YOU WRITING?" It's simultaneously funny and motivating.)


So I sit here, completely absorbed in the atmosphere of May fever, yet I know that come August, I'll be literally skipping with excitement about buying new school supplies. I'm such a dork.


I was on YouTube earlier this afternoon procrastinating from my chemistry homework (FIVE LAB REPORTS IN ONE WEEK! FIVE! **complains excessively**) and the first video awaiting me in my subscription box was this:





I laughed.

Subconscious Roots

I was just reading over my posts on my English class' forum regarding the quote "Ignorance is bliss." (Yes, I know I never posted the rest of that conversation like I promised. Sorry.)

And guess what I found: I found several paragraphs about true happiness (of course, you guys might not have finished The Clockwork Experiment yet, so you wouldn't know what that has to do with anything).

So that's where that came from.

See, I realized that I have a NaNoWriMo-originating CreateSpace code for a free copy of...something. So I've compiled a book of poems and short stories and non-fiction (including a few of my blog posts) to give to my grandma. So that's why I was looking at them.

The Query Shark

Today I went to http://queryshark.blogspot.com. The directions on how to submit a query for commentary (for those who don't know, Query Shark is a blog where prospective clients send queries, and the Shark tells them how to make the letters themselves better) read as follows:

BEFORE you send your query to the Shark do these things:

1. Read all the entries on the blog.

2. Make notes on what you read that you did not know.

3. Revise your query using the notes.

4. Let the query sit for a week. 

5. Revise again.

...and so on.

 I started reading the entries. Now I'm feeling very, very paranoid about the quality of my letter. I think it's good, but is it? And the people I sent it to are just people who were in my CW class and revised the letter the first time. They don't have any more experience than I do, so what do they know that I don't?
I'm thinking about sending it to my CW teacher...but maybe not. Of course, if the topic came up in class, he would probably say something like "Of course, I've never been published, so what do I know?".

I sent the poem at the end of Clockwork to my grandma (she enjoys reading my poetry) and she wants me to read it at her and my grandpa's 50th anniversary picnic (have I said that on here before?). She says it applies to their marriage. Well, any marriage.
When I wrote that poem a year or two ago, I didn't intend it to apply to marriage, but okay. And I just found out half an hour ago or so that she read it to some random people at a drumming circle she went to.
The poem certainly applies to me, in a more abstract way. This whole getting published process is...scary. I don't know anything. Well, at least it feels that way. Obviously I know some things, seeing as how I've gotten this far. Maybe I should go read it and remind myself that I only need to go on Amazon to see exactly how well these paths are trodden. It's not like some people are born knowing exactly how to do it.

All of you should watch this video: http://www.spiritling.com/profile/Wakanda/content/1561#t=profile_content
It's amazing.

Net Neutrality

I try to keep the rest of my online life out of this blog, unless there's something directly related, or if I'm just bored and feel like writing about something.

However, I think this is extremely important, and should be shared with as many people as possible. Plus, the video's hilarious.



If the embed didn't work, go watch the video here and then come back.

John and Hank, of course, are the vlogbrothers. Maureen is a YA author who I like very much. Wil Wheaton is an actor from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Luke and Kristina comprise my favorite band, and the Mythbuster guy is, well, a Mythbuster.

If you click on the link to http://www.savetheinternet.com/ (which you should), there is a button in the upper left-hand corner that says "Act Now." Click on it. Fill out your information (it's important). The site will send an email to your senators and representative for your district.

I've watched the video three times now.

In Which I Get Very Philosophical

Do you ever say "No one cares" or "What are you talking about? Everyone  loves (chocolate/bacon/cheesecake/other food here)"? Or something of that sort?
I do. All the time. I'll probably do it within this post accidentally. (I almost just typed "everyone does," but then I caught myself).
Most people do.
Of course, there are exceptions to everyone liking bacon, and no one caring. In fact, whenever I say that, usually there are people who care quite a lot.
But the point is: why do we do that? Don't we move past that stage at some point in our childhood? I am of course referring to the stage where we are the only "real" thing in the universe. "I can't see them, so they can't see me." The stage where we only write stories in which the main character is ourselves. Now don't get me wrong. I quite often have stories in which my main characters are similar to me. But at least now I (we) try to distance ourselves from them. We give them different names, for one thing. We invent characters for them to be friends with that don't actually exist. But at the same time, they are our mirrors, to a point. Fun house mirrors, that distort us enough that we can ignore the fact that we're looking at ourselves. I am, of course, referring only to myself, and using "we" because I'm the only real person in the universe. Sorry. You are all fake. :)

But maybe you identify with what I'm saying.

But enough about characters. I don't want to talk about them. I want to talk about people.

Quote: "Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real."

I know you guys are real. And you know I'm real (well, I hope you do). Theoretically. But saying statements like those at the beginning is proof that we don't. Not really. This is why we're surprised by people's actions. We forget to imagine them as complex human beings like ourselves, instead of simple robots following simple programs. That should really be a theme in Clockwork, actually. Robots would make a good metaphor for something like that. (I hate when I get good ideas like that that require enormous amounts of editing to integrate).

So what if I propose this:

The goal of the individual is to, over the course of life, come to understand others as independent like-beings, as opposed extensions of the self, and to love them anyway.

Why do we get mad when people don't give us/let us do what we want? Is it because we can't understand why that person doesn't want us to have it? They are us, after all.

This post is going in a very different direction than what I originally intended.

Do we get angry only when we are confronted with the fact that someone is not us?

I was watching Furturama, and Bender got a sex-change to be a FemBot in order to win gold medals. A celebrity robot fell in love with him/her, and kept saying how he/she "understood the male mind." Did he love him/her so much because he was a mind he could understand in a female body? Do we really only love ourselves (at first, anyway)?

So is learning to unconditionally love someone different from you a sign of maturation? Or is it perfectly fine to love someone who happens to be rather similar to yourself? I happen to lean toward the second, but maybe the first is true as well. That's why I'm asking.

My, I'm being philosophical today. I even tackled "the meaning of life." Worship me in all of my glory, for I am the only True Being in this universe, and you are all reflections of Me. So love Me, for how can you not? You are of Me. MUHAHAHAHAHA. That sounded like an attack on Christianity. Sorry if I offended anyone. I didn't mean for it to be that way. Yet I don't erase it. Why? Because maybe I did mean it. It's hard to know.

Oh, and what if someone hates themselves? What then? Does hating the world really just mean you hate yourself?

I mean, this is the main reason my mom gets mad at me. I refuse to "be her" in a given situation, and so get in trouble. So when we talk about whether or not we want a clone, and I say "no, I don't want a clone," maybe I do want a clone. But then again, if there was another me, we'd have to compete for copyrights, and who has to do what, and role in society/family, and romance (because we'd naturally fall in love with the same person, since we'd be the same person)...so maybe I don't want a clone. **such a quandry**

I'm going to go to bed now, like I should have awhile ago.

Procrastination in Productivity's Clothing

I refuse to post/email Clockwork for a number of reasons, one of which being that I just like to make you guys wait. :P

But the most important one is this: I get better feedback from you if I read a few chapters at a time. If I give you all of it to read, the specifics will be lost.

Why am I not in school right now, you ask? Maybe you aren't asking, but I will tell you anyway. I'm getting a simple dental surgery done this morning. I'm not allowed to eat or drink anything, so I'm starving until they start dripping "sugar-water" into me through the IV. Which will probably not be for at least another hour and a half, since my appointment's at 9:30.

Right. Moving on.

The second reason is that whenever I bring pages to a meeting to read to you, it's the 3rd draft. Words 1- around 62,000 are in their second draft, and when I print them out, I attack it with my blue pen before bringing it to a meeting. I don't want you reading the parts in their 2nd or 1st versions. Let me make it better before you read it.

The third reason: if you finish everything that I've written and are clamoring for more (in theory), I'll feel pressured to get another few chapters out as often as possible. I'll give less attention to the quality, and more to the quantity. I want the 1st draft to be as good as possible, because a) it saves me time in editing and b) I feel less ashamed of it.

The fourth reason: Reading it aloud to you in itself is amazingly helpful. I hear when you laugh, or make some other noise. I can tell when sections are droning on a bit long. I catch awkward phrasing that I didn't catch by looking at it.

The fifth reason: Reading it in pieces gives me time to think about it and give myself feedback. Even if each of you kept a notebook next to you while reading and wrote down every single little thing that came to mind (and who would do that? I wouldn't), I wouldn't be giving as much specific thought to each section.

Lastly: Thanks for being awesome, guys. Going to a meeting always gets me inspired to work on something, regardless of what it is. This week, I ended up writing about 800 words of Clockwork before I went to bed and editing the chapters I read to you. After the surgery, while I'm eating ice cream and doing other generally envy-worthy things (there are definitely advantages, even though I don't get to see any of my friends at school today), I'll work on it some more. Speaking of which, I should go to that now. This blog post is Procrastination disguised as Productivity.

Oh, and what did you all think of Terry/Reymfla getting her name from an unknown book (no, I did not actually get her name from a book)? I feel like it was a weak point in the chapter, but that's actually probably what I would do if I was looking for a new name. Does it work?

Pink Nation- Where I Get Many of My Ideas

I was going to include this with the last post, but it is about an entirely different topic, so I am making a new one.
Last night I had a dream that Hank Green (of the vlogbrothers, and also my favorite musical artist) came to the elementary school I have mentioned before to do a show. He was teaching me and a bunch of other people (who in real life don't even know of his existence) how to play his songs. There was an entire band, including guitars, ukeleles, trumpets...
I didn't have any music, because I was playing guitar. He told me the chord progression (C-F-G-A), and started passing out music to the other people. I didn't recognize the song we were playing, which was weird because I have heard every single one of his songs except for the ones he is still working on.
I looked at the music of someone near me, and saw that the song was called "Pink Nation." This is not a song Hank has ever written. That made me more confiused.
The alarm went off. I woke up with chords and a song title in my head- a song that does not exist.
Needless to say, I have begun writing the song.

Most of my ideas for creative works (be it song or story) are either leftover from a dream, or something that came to me in the evening when I was almost asleep. Clockwork was like this. Parts of When The Sun Was In Your Hair (which, yes, is just psychotherapy, but some of the more story bits) were like this. The first wizard rock song I ever wrote (and best, so I believe), "Red-Headed Lament," was like this. Several other things probably were too, but I can't think of them right now.
Speaking of waking up with things in my head, one time it was a word: "ergo." I didn't know what it meant. I had never heard it before. I looked it up, and it turned out to be a Latin word. It means "therefore." I use it fairly often now. There's no point with this story about that word-- it's just an interesting thing I felt like telling you.

The point is: sleep/almost sleep is good for being creative. The first chapter of Clockwork, which I believe to be the best part of it, was written at midnight, when I needed sleep. I planned on going to sleep in 15 minutes. My brain was preparing for it. Maybe it's because the subconscious is coming to the forefront in preparation for dreams, and maybe it's just because my logical mind is relaxing and shutting down for the night, but it works. That's where I get many of my ideas. Perhaps I'll share "Pink Nation" with you once it's finished.