Debate Christmas Carols

"One of the greatest joys known to man is to take a flight into ignorance in search of knowledge." - Robert Lynd


"Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence." - Henrik Tikannen


Somehow managed to win first place in my event at the debate tournament today. It helps that 3/4 of my opponents had never debated before, but hey.


That's not terribly important, though. The thing that actually matters is that we spent  a couple of hours before rounds started writing alternative versions to Christmas carols on the tables (which were graciously covered with paper specifically for that purpose). Later we ripped the sections off and placed them into our smuggling tubs (which are mainly used for food): The Millenium Falcon, and Serenity.


No, they're not supposed to have the right number of syllables or necessarily rhyme. If you are amused, that is wonderful. If not, just ignore this.


"Oh Holey Logic," written and then sung by me and Josh Williams (for the probably two of you that means something to).


Oh, hole-y logic
Your fallacies are blinding
They make my brain
Hurt as if it's being hit by rocks
The joys of pain- 
Your case just simply crumbles
It falls on the ground
In a heap of useless nonsense
Oh logic
So flawed!
In the round that I just won.


"Hark Harold the Union Worker Sings" (in reference to the debate topic "current economic disparities threaten democratic ideals") Written by me, very late last night. The sad thing is, I went to bed at midnight and got up before 6 and there were tons of people there who had gotten way less sleep than I did.


"Hark!" Harold the Union Worker sings
"I'd like more collective bargaining!
Peace on the floor, and hours mild
Wages to feed my newborn child"
Angered, all ye workers rise
Join the protest to get the prize
When the CEO proclaims
"Perhaps we can agree on something"
"Hark!" Harold the Union Worker sings
"That's what I call collective bargaining!"


Then, in reference to the topic that I was actually debating ("individuals have a moral obligation to assist people in need,"), there is "Grandma Got Run Over By A Bus (and I don't have a moral obligation to help her)" Written by my other friend.


Grandma got run over by a bus
Jogging home from our house Christmas Eve
You may say I have a moral obligation to help her
But as for me and Grandpa, in Con we believe.


"God Rest Ye Merry Bourgeoise" Kind of a conglomerate of authorship. 


God rest ye merry bourgeoise
Let nothing you dismay
Democracy was founded to rich, make you stay
To save you all from poverty when the money goes away
Oh, tidings of tax cuts and joy
Tax cuts and joy!
Oh, tidings of tax cuts and joy!


There were a few more, but those are the best and most complete.


I'll probably write up a few more anecdotes about the actual tournament tomorrow, but these are for either your enjoyment or "god, she's insane"-ment for now. :)

Button Pushers

"We're having hot lesbian sex. And by 'lesbian sex,' we mean 'tea,' but it's still pretty hot." - my friend's Facebook's "favorite quotes." Not sure who actually said it.


Ha, I will laugh if that, which was added solely for laughs, ends up bringing in a bunch of views via Google searches. And I will know, via my beloved stat feature.


The following are the lyrics to a song I wrote based upon the first few episodes of Season 2 of Lost, because I'm a geek and do stuff like that. Happy New Year, guys. I hope this one's better than the last for you, regardless of how good this one was.

“Button Pushers”
A Song

I don’t know what happens if I don’t push it but
I can’t risk it, so yeah, I don’t get out much
I don’t know how long I’ve been here despite the tallies on the wall
I can’t leave until you come so to the button I crawl

Is it real
Is it not
Everyday I have this thought
What if it’s all in my mind?
What’s your name?
Hello, John.
Are you the Island’s pawn?
Take my place? Wow, you’re so kind

I’m a button pusher
Button pusher
Button pusher
Button pusher

4 8 15 16 23 42
Type it once every 108 minutes then I hit execute
Wake up, work out, make some breakfast, wait for alarm to sound
Monotony until I see three outsiders sneaking around

Is it real
Is it not
Everyday I have this thought
What if it’s all in my mind?
What’s your name?
Hello, John.
Are you the Island’s pawn?
Take my place? Wow, you’re so kind

I don’t know what happens if I don’t push it but
I can’t risk it, so yeah, I don’t get out much
I don’t know how long I’ve been here despite the tallies on the wall
I can’t leave until you come so to the button I crawl
To the button I crawl

I'm In Love, And It Hurts

This is a song I wrote to mock a lot of other songs/artists.


I've got no talent- that's easy to see

I just have a knack for getting publicity

It started with a stroke of luck that got me on TV

And now the Trending Topics are all about me

I'm in love and it hurts

Boo hoo yay

And that is so insightful that you all should pay

Me lots of money

Although my music's not all that great

(Follow me on Twitter to see all the stuff I ate)

Parents say all my music sounds the same

And although that's true, you don't think it's lame

You buy it anyway because it's under my name

Diss me and the fans will soon have you maimed

I'm in love and it hurts

Boo hoo yay

And that is so insightful that you all should pay

Me lots of money

Although my music's not all that great

(Follow me on Twitter to see all the stuff I ate)

Every song

That I sing

Is so long

And says the same thing

I'm in love and it hurts

Boo hoo yay

And that is so insightful that you all should pay

Me lots of money

Although my music's not all that great

(Follow me on Twitter to see all the stuff I ate)

Pink Nation- Lyrics!

One thing I've learned today: songs need considerable editing just like novels and short stories do. Unfortunately, it's the story I need edited for class by tomorrow, not the song. Guess which one I finished.

Without further ado...

Pink Nation

Verse1:

There's just one country that's the best in everything
We've got people on both ends of the string
We've got the fattest, we've got the thinnest
We've got the slobbiest, and we've got the trimmest
both sucking up money in a vortex of greed
Keeping from people the things that they need

Chorus:

And there's one kind of people the others don't have at all
We've got loads of them and they are Pinks
They've got their big pink faces
And their pink sunburns
From fat, blush, and tanning
They never learn
It's a Pink Nation
Pink Nation all around
Pink Nation
Pink Nation plummeting toward the ground

Verse2:

We eat and work and argue, and laze around the house
When the weekend comes, we don't get off the couch
We've got the strongest, we've got the weakest
We've got the boldest, and we've got the meekest
Zombified by stupid shows like the Marriage Ref
I can't help but think "WTF?"

Chorus

Bridge:

Pink nation, pink nation
At least we've got a space station
But also CEOs in mansions with loads of free time
While Hatians sit on streets with barely a dime
There's both good and bad in the USA, I find
But it's the worldsuck that's making me lose my mind

Verse3:

Segregation coming back in schools to save about an hour
The Board's appeasing parents to remain in power
Gravity of culture's dragging all of us down
Lack of moral motivation turning smiles into frowns
Sports pumped with money while academics get less
Won't even get to try hard physics tests

Chorus


Currently the most important order of business regarding this: does anyone have any suggestions as to how I should change the lyrics?

And do you want to write the music? My composing skills are...let's just say that it's questionable as to whether or not they even exist. :)

(Update since I got home and am now finishing the post). I tried to figure out the music...but I ended up accidentally figuring out the choruses to two of the songs on This Machine Pwns Noobs. It's when I attempt to write music that I feel like a creative failure...anyways.


____________________________________________________________________

That's the line that marks the space where I change topics completely. Why make another post when this one will work just as well?

I started reading the last of the galleys I have today: The Ghosts of Ashbury High.
 It's amazing. I love it. The story is told through 4(?) different students' final exams in Gothic Fiction (the assignment is to write a memoir exploring the topic of first impressions using their knowledge of gothic fiction). Three of them are writing about the same thing, while the other is ignoring the "personal memoir" part and retelling the true (true, as in, within the fiction of the book) story of a guy in 1806. I have a feeling this story hooks up with the main one later on...

Time for dinner. Fajitas and yellow rice. Yum.