The Birth Order Book, by Kevin Leman

"I don't read self-help books. On any given day my self seems to need so much help that 200 pages of cheerful advice and end-of-chapter exercises miss the core of my dilemma. The real question keeping me up at night is this: What the hell is a self anyway? How did I get one and why is it so damn desperate for help?" - Adam Frank


Naturally, that is how I start a post about the self-help book I just finished.


Leman claims that birth order has a significant impact on how you turn out as a person--to the point that he gets scared if he's on a plane and the pilot isn't a functional firstborn or only child. This book outlines the typical characteristics of each birth order, how to deal with it yourself, how to deal with it in others, and how to take it into account when parenting.


With the exception of one of my sisters, his predictions fit my entire family almost perfectly. It's kind of freaky (in that halfway through the chapter on firstborns I was shouting "THESE ARE MY PEOPLE." And that's only a little bit of an exaggeration).


All of the psychology and analysis is interspersed with stories about his clients, and his own family. He's a likable enough person, and it's always amusing to be reading along and find something that describes someone you know to the letter.


The whole book is fascinating (to anyone who has siblings, anyway), and I'd recommend it to anyone who has an interest in that sort of thing. My mom picked it up a couple days ago and decided that all five of us were going to read it, so we'll see what happens after I'm not the only one in the house with this Deep and Perceptive Knowledge about the Mysterious Secrets of Birth Order.

How Can I Miss You If You Don't Go Away?

"Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better." - Emile Coue


WARNING: This post contains sappiness and over-sentimentality. This is what comes from me realizing I can turn up my volume at midnight and not wake anybody up because there's nobody there.


Yesterday morning, both of my sisters left with my grandparents, who live within an hour's drive of Niagara Falls. I'll be joining them in two weeks, but for now, that means I'm living as an only child. Especially now that since my mom is working as the secretary at her school rather than in the library, she doesn't have the summer off.


While I enjoy the quiet and the lack of people trying to nail me for not doing my chores, I've also been a bit lonely-- the past two days, plus last week when they had school and I didn't. I've been keeping some sort of music playing as much as possible.


Really I'm fine and have been enjoying myself, but I have to wonder...how do actual only children do it? I like being alone, but I don't like having to be alone. Siblinghood is a weird thing;  it's a relationship pretty much solely based on sharing, ironic as that may seem. There's tension and competition and just plain fighting, sure. But even if you aren't "close," there's still that rather unique bond.


My best friend is probably the person who knows me best. She's my first confidant, who I feel totally comfortable talking to. But my sisters live with me. We grew up together. We took baths together. We've violently slaughtered virtual demons together (well, I've done that with my best friend too, but...) 
We've seen each other at our worst (and have said some shockingly cruel things to each other), and we sometimes don't understand each other. We tear each other down and then we build each other up again. We've been together our entire lives, and it's hard for me to comprehend a life without that kind of relationship.


So a message to my sisters, since I'm going to send them the link to this post: Don't die. Stay far away for the duration of the next two weeks because I'm partying it up here at home and hacking your computers to read your email and stealing all of your money and stuff, but as much as it pains me to admit it, I want you both back here in July. Okay? You're stuck with me. (And yes, that's a World of Warcraft joke in the title-- blood elf female. And no, I didn't know that off the top of my head.)