An Entertaining Blog (to say the least)

http://slushpilehell.tumblr.com/

On which an agent posts particularly cringe-worthy snippets of query letters she has received. Speaking of which, I should go send mine...

Quote

"Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors." - Quentin Crisp


It's true, though. What about the Europeans giving the Native Americans smallpox and everything?

My Quasi-Mandatory Bi-Weekly Wednesday Post

It's not that I made a rule for myself or anything. It's just that you guys always give me so much to think about, I end up having something to blog about after meetings. It's nothing specific this time, though. Just a collection of thoughts.

First off: I'm posting some footage of the wrock concert I went to last night. Here's the first of three videos http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBCg6MdoSj0&feature=player_embedded

The other two aren't uploaded yet.

There is an updated version of Clockwork where pretty much the only thing changed is in one of the last few chapters. I will send it to you. The change isn't important if it was real life, but from a literary/character arc point of view, it's vital.

We had a bunch of new people this week, and guess what happened! We talked about Twilight again. This is a trend. I said it last week, and I am saying it now. It always happens. This was considerably more... aggressive than last week, though. I'm surprised.

On that note, while we were walking out, Emily mentioned to me that she thinks it'd be interesting to find out whether there is a correlation between political party and Edward vs. Jacob (or at least Edward vs. Anti-Edward). This may be my project for AP Statistics senior year.

I like that we've been having more poetry at meetings recently, but I'm not sure why.

I spent the morning kicking loads of virtual butt in Diablo II: Lord of Destruction with my sister (four hours, but we didn't intend to play for that long). Then my other sister and I rehearsed various things for a song I've written (well, sort of. I wrote the words. It's a filk.) about NaNoWriMo. And that's all I'm going to say on that topic for now. More will be revealed as November approaches.

It's nice being a teenage author in that it really doesn't matter, from a monetary standpoint, whether or not Clockwork is published any time soon. Especially considering that I have a babysitting job for next week, I'm getting a third of my mom's organist pay (since I'm playing several things to help her out), and I never spend any money anyway (saving for Leaky Con 2011). 

It occurred to me last night that I was at a concert for bands I like...so I probably should have brought some money. Then I thought that it was probably a good thing after all. However, I'm going to bring some next week.

Why do most of the big events not directly related to my personal life but relevant to me happen on Tuesdays? (Okay, not really. Just yesterday's concert, next week's concert,  and nearly every YA novel release.)

Perhaps I should write several more paragraphs just so I'll still be working on this post when the second wrock video finishes uploading. But, as the Blibbering Humdingers said in the song linked to above, "I think that the crowd's had enough."

Quote

"It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place."


H. L. Mencken


On a side note: guys, where is your Clockwork feedback????? Emily's nearly finished, and she's given me some of the best feedback I've ever had (as in "YES I'M GLAD YOU NOTICED THAT" and "Oh. Okay. I'll go fix that."
But that's just one person. And I know you guys all have opinions. Or are you waiting for tonight?
Oh! Meeting tonight! Hooray! I've been looking forward to this week immensely.

How Much Is Too Much?

As Cory Doctorow says, everyone copies everyone else. We can't help it. But how much is too much?


In 6th grade, I made my first attempt at writing a novel (it was Ishaera). It was terrible. And not just the writing. The plot was basically a mash-up between Ranger's Apprentice and The Cry of the Icemark, and certain bits of dialogue were taken directly from certain sci-fi movies.


As I said, it was terrible. And it was far too much. That's why I'm re-writing it in November.


But what about Eragon?


It clearly draws roots from Lord of the Rings and Star Wars plot-wise. It's obvious. It's painfully obvious, at some points. Honestly- Arya writing a poem about Doctor Who? Really? (And yes- it says so in the letter to the reader at the end.)
Yes, he was only 15 when he started writing the book...but we're better than that, aren't we? His writing's good. Very good. And I'll admit, I suck at plots. It was only with enormous help from you guys that Clockwork got to where it is today. I still shudder when I think of the original. It wasn't a mash-up...but it was bad.


So I suppose I can't give Mr. Paolini too hard of a time. And maybe he didn't have a tank full of sharks tearing at his manuscript once every two weeks (hyperbole, guys- don't worry), so all right.


But is Eragon too much?


Yes, there's archetypes, and standard plotlines, and such. Yes, there's loads of terribly cliche stuff on the market.
And yes, I enjoy some of those, and so do many others.


But where do we draw the line?

Pure

Unless I'm refusing to read something just to spite someone (hasn't happened in several years, but it has occurred), I try to give every book a chance. That's not to say that I read every book that comes my way, but I'm willing to read anything if that's the only thing available. That is, I'm willing to start reading anything. If it's just the characters or plot I don't like, I'll usually keep going just for the sake of finishing. Only when the writing itself is terribly convoluted will I quit (usually).


Today I was at my aunt's house helping with preparations for my grandparents' 50th Anniversary party tomorrow, and after we were done, I picked up the book my 13 year old cousin was reading: Pure, by someone with the last name of McVoy. I think.


I made it through the first seven pages before I stopped. The entire concept...was not something that interested me in the slightest, and it just aggravated me. Which confused me, because I know people similar to the main character, and most of them are nice, and those that aren't are only marginally annoying (usually, but then again I don't spend much time with them).
But I hated that main character. And also her four friends. Or was it four? I don't even know.
I know seven pages isn't much to go by...but I didn't want to read the rest of it (plus, I had other stuff to be doing).


And I feel bad about it. Sorry, Author of Pure. Some people (like my cousin) really like your book, but I am not one of those people.


And I don't know why this bothers me so much. It seems like it shouldn't matter, and everyone's entitled to their own opinions...


Now I should go help with dinner.

On Romance

The challenge for next week's meeting is to write non-cheesy, non-cliche romance. I look forward to hearing what everyone comes up with.


However, I am not participating in this challenge (speaking of which, I need to write something to bring...).
Why is this?


Because I don't believe there is such a thing as non-cheesy, non-cliche romance. And (of course) I'm going to tell you why.


What is the definition of cheesy? 
Well, when it comes to romance, it's usually honest and/or poetic dialogue. 


What is the definition of cliche?
Something that has happened/been done so many times before that people are over that plot line.


And what about romance?


Romance has literally been around as long as humans have been. Yes, it's come a long way since the days of "Hey! You're an available (male/female)! Let's mate!" but it was around at the beginning of our species, and it still happens today.


There have been an awful lot of humans since the beginning of our species. That's a lot of coupling. I would argue that the various generic "plot lines" have all been enacted by various couples so many times that they have all become "over-used," making it cliche. Even the people against cliche romance are cliche, because there's been loads of them as well.


Every romance is its own story, but there's only so many general paths to tread. The details and the outcome will be different, but if you zoom out, it's basically one of a set many of different things. So all romance is cliche.


Now let's move on to cheesy.


I am a girl, and most of my friends are girls, and I don't know the opinions of my guy friends on this matter, so keep that in mind while reading the next part of the post (and the above).


We read/watch/hear about so much romance, whether it's intentional or not; fictional or not; willingly or not, that "cheesy" romance is subconsciously embedded in our brains to some degree. So even if we don't expect our own romances to match it, we still treat it that way in our minds. If you do it right, you're not disappointed when it doesn't turn out to be a fairy tale, but the undercurrents remain. 


No, the knights don't sweep the princesses off their feet anymore, but the mental image is still there, and we ascend into the realms of metaphor.


So if all romance is still cheesy to some degree within our minds, when writing from first person, it's not possible to write a non-cheesy romance. On the surface it might be "non-cheesy" and "non-cliche," but on the inside, it still is.

The Harry Potter Alliance Needs A Bit Of Help

I've blogged about the HPA before, right? The Harry Potter Alliance? Dumbledore's Army of the Muggle world?


I'm going to ask the five of you (well, six) to do something for me/them.


Please go vote for them here. 


If they win this, they'll win a ton of money that they'll use to keep up all of their campaigns (like the ones for LGBT rights, giving books to people in need, Helping Haiti Heal, Wizard Rock the Vote [getting people to register for voting and convincing them to actually go], and lots of other stuff.)


I love this charity. I love what they do, where they came from, and the people in it.


And now it is dinner time, and I'm going to see Much Ado About Nothing in the park this afternoon, so I've got to go.

Reaping The Rewards

Well that's that, then. I'm a published author...sort of. Not really. More on that later.


Last November I worked insanely hard to write 50,000 words in 30 days. And I did it. CreateSpace was kind enough to give me a code to receive a free proof copy of any given thing I chose to upload. Which I did.

See? It just came in the mail today. I didn't expect it to arrive for another week at least. It's a present for my grandparents, so I won't be taking it home with me, but Mom's going to let me order another one for myself (it's registered with her credit card.)


Yes, it's just vanity publishing, so it doesn't really count and it shouldn't go in query letters or anything...but I still think it's awesome. I plan on compiling the stuff I write in the next year to give to them in a "Volume 2." But don't say anything to them. Of course, I include the link to this blog in it, so maybe my grandma will check it out and find out, and none of you know how to contact her, but let's not push it.


It's about 120 pages.


I'm sort of afraid that if I've had this reaction (which you hopefully won't be able to glean via this post- it's been a lot of staring at it and giddy smiling) to this, how will it go if/when I get something "properly" published? I think my reaction is completely valid, but still...
Plus, my sisters have been laughing at me.

Free Proof Copy

I didn't submit Clockwork to Createspace for my free proof copy. Instead, I compiled a collection of poetry, short stories, essays, and a few blog posts into one document and submitted that. It's a gift for my grandma. It was only free if I chose the cheapest shipping option, which means it probably won't arrive here until I'm back at home again, but it did ship the day before yesterday, so...


I just finished Book of Shadows, by Alexandra Sokoloff yesterday, and I enjoyed it a lot.
Now I've started Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld, which is about this massive flying whale war machine. Yes, you read that correctly. Flying whale war machine that's alive. Which is pretty awesome. It takes place in World War 1, but with a slightly different history.